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Posted on 10-15-2008
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Family Reconciliations
By Karen Asp

Family disagreements? Mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters who no longer speak? Welcome to the brave new world of today's family. Long gone are the days when everyone agreed that father (and mother) knew best and adult children agreed on care choices for aging parents (in the family home, of course!). Anger, hostility, stress and estrangements abound these days. Is it ever too late? Rarely.



There's no better time than the present to work towards understanding and reunion. Find out how below.



All relationships have some degree of conflict, or disagreements, over anything from whose turn it is to take out the garbage to who gets the money in Grandma's will.



Conflict can be a good thing. "The absence of conflict means that you're not talking about things that matter most to you," says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in Detroit and research professor at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Family conflicts are usually manageable and can be resolved quickly. What's important is that all parties respect their differences and put pride and hurt aside.



However, when problems or issues accumulate to the point that mutual understanding is no longer possible, deeper troubles arise. These can often cause rifts between family members.



"That is about accumulated disrespect for each other," Orbuch says, adding that although these rifts can happen in any relationship, they tend to occur most frequently between parents and children, or among siblings.



The importance of healing



While it might seem easier to close the door on a difficult relationship and dismiss the person from your life, there are good reasons to take steps toward reunion -- and healing. For one thing, you'll ...
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